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The current year marks a ten-year milestone since the term “disappearing” entered the common lexicon. Initially, the idea that someone could instantly end all contact with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the height of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a partner has only become more perplexing – an frequently fruitless pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by online jargon.

Gen Z, a demographic who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a concerted attack on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their millennial forerunners could ever envision. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with phrases like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a detailed breakdown to the words this generation is using to navigate love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because where that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Realness – In the view of Zoomers, romance's gold standard is showing up as your real, unvarnished self. Best wishes with that!

B

Bird theory – A social media test inspired by a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your date's reply is engaged or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” trope of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Support test – This means going for someone who helps you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would get a chair for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A meet-up where two people connect while handling tasks, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do affordable dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 80s yuppie affluence, it refers to pairs who opt out of having children to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of playing it cool: embracing dialogue, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits indicating a prospective partner is not right. For instance calling their exes crazy, bad gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions validate your decision to date a mate. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, largely benign idiosyncrasies. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying the rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, accommodating and loyal. The uncommon partner who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Random and frequently trivial dealbreakers that instantly shut down any feelings of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic act.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some gen Z want fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {